about me

it's LABOUR DAY today. and yeah, it was such a laborious day for me.

the idea of going to school on a public holiday totally sucks. and the fact that we'll be having chem mock spa and gp presentation tomorrow is making everything worse. i dont even have time to look through my script and i'm prepared to get scolded by ms tan for reading it tomorrow. look at the time now! it's already 8 plus and i'm still not even halfway done with my gp thingy.

and i'm so tired.

i'm feeling lousy! and why am i always doing the wrong things. why can't my body listen to my brain? why am i always the problematic one? why is it that other people, who went through the same process as me, do things so nicely and i just can't? it only makes me feel like a moron.. and his comments made me feel like a piece of junk.. like a piece of shit that is totally worthless.

well, at least shit can be used as fertiliser right.

i hate it when i have to waste other people's time.. just like some lousy actor/actress who must NG so many times that the director must film again and again and other actors/actresses will have to wait.

i hate it when i always need other people to tell me what to do and then my whole group will be so worried coz i may just screw things up anytime.

i hate it when i can't control my body and i keep repeating the dumb mistake again and again.

i hate it when he throws me scornful remarks. "if u dont utilise your arms u might as well just chop it off." how would u feel if u were me?

my self-esteem had been trampled on. just what am i good at? i not any top student in class. i don't even play pool that well. i don't exactly have a voice good enough to be a singer. can you suggest what i can be good at?

perhaps only von and sherilyn can understand how i feel. really glad to have u guys with me now.. we will overcome this dark patch together :)



3 more weeks and i'm out of this shit.

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